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Best Blonde Joke
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch some sleep.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question : "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay" says the lawyer, your turn.
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you !" and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks: "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
No Love for The French
An American, a Spaniard and a Frenchman are walking on a beach when they discover a genie's lamp. The American rubs the lamp and the genie appears in a puff of blue smoke. She announces to the trio that they will receive a total of three wishes, one each, so they should consider their wishes wisely.
The Spaniard is first, and asks the genie to make his country fruitful, his countrywomen beautiful and his traditions preserved. The genie grants the wish.
The Frenchman is second. "I'm sick and tired of my homeland being invaded every half century. I would like an impenetrable wall built to protect my beloved France, one which no one can scale." The genie grants the wish.
The American thinks for a moment, and asks the genie, "I'm curious about this wall. How big is it?" The genie replies, "The wall around France is 150 high and 50 feet thick. It cannot be penetrated from either side, or climbed, and all the French people of the world are safe inside." "Great," says the American. "Fill it with water."
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When Two Blondes Meet
The blonde police officer tells her, "It's that thing with your picture on it."
The blonde driver searches for a few more seconds, pulls out her compact, opens it and sure enough sees herself. She hands the compact to the blonde cop.
After a few seconds looking at the compact, the blonde cop rolls her eyes, hands the compact back to the blonde convertible driver and says, "If you would have told me you were a police officer when I first pulled you over we could have avoided this whole thing."